Home Adult Talks Advice Me Please I Am Shattered,Confused,Devastated And In Pains….
Advice Me Please I Am Shattered,Confused,Devastated And In Pains….

Advice Me Please I Am Shattered,Confused,Devastated And In Pains….

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From a female NGTrends reader. Remember you can share your stories with us for advices from fellow NGTrends readers. To Share Your Story send us a mail today to [email protected] We will try our possible best to respond to all your mails, so keep them coming. Thanks

Dear NGTrends Readers,

My name is Tolani, I am 31 years old, this is my true life story and I need you NGTrends readers to help me with your candid advice. My husband and I is been married for the past 4years, we started seeing each other since I was in my 300level and now I am a successful banker. My husband is also a banker, he got the job through my father. A year after our marriage he started acting all funny, things he doesn’t do during courtship he started doing them, he beats me, he womanize, he drinks to stupor, he turned me into his s*x machine and lots more.. At the long run I became pregnant in the first year of our marriage ( twins) according to the scan. We were home together on this bad weekend and his bad behavior came on again he gave me the beating of my life, after stressing to wash our cloths,clean the house and cooking. The cause of the beating was because I prepared yam for him instead of pounded yam or wheat, but I was to tired to stress much I was really heavy and weak.   Because of this beating I was in false labour he had to rush me down to the hospital, getting to the hospital this bitter day I had to go to the labour room or I will die so the doctor said. I gave birth to dead premature children. My innocent babies, gone all because of this man called my husband, all because of the word love. Hmm!!! He apologized after the whole incident, believe me I forgave him, he stopped the beating for a while then he continued again. I endured the pain,I endured the agony because he is my husband and I love him. Now the issue on ground is that he came home some weeks ago with a pregnant woman, my own house I bought with my money,my sweat. The most painful part is that his parents, his family are in support, they are really backing him up.

I couldn’t withstand the pain I had to pack out of the house. Now because of him I have lost everything, everything I have worked for and for the past years after the still birth I had never gotten pregnant. I was sacked because of this man called my husband. It hurts really, it really really hurts!!!  Because I really love him…. Where do I start my life from? What can I do? Please I need your candid advice…

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Comment(21)

  1. Woman. Its sooo unfortunate that you are suffering this. Mistakes ladies make is being head over hills with your boyfriend turn husband… you have moved out.. fine! what do you think it’s your next step??
    You own the house you left for your husband and his mistress…
    Remember marriage is a “for better for worse thing”.. you say you love your husband, right? My dear fight for what you have,,, for what’s your own..
    Try and gather your self, get something doing my dear.. so you could have every means to get your husband back…
    Don’t forget to remember God, put it in prayer.. your husband and his mistress…

    There is absolutely nothing impossible for God 2do….

    I honestly pray that you will go back to your home,live in love n unity… God will see you through

  2. Hello,

    Don’t you have the documents in your name so you can claim your properties back??

    When things like this happens, pls don’t cry and don’t share your story with anyone than God because nobody can help except God. Put his name into prayer every morning and night and rebuke every spirit that is causing confusion, trust me God is bigger than all your problems

    Also dust your certificate, look for job and don’t forget to put God first in all!
    It’s well sis

    Nobody is above mistake

  3. My dear, u shouldn’t have left the house yet. If u did buy the house with your money then he doesn’t deserve to be there. My advice is this, take all that belongs to you, forget about him and move on. YOU CANT AFFORD TO LOSE ALL TO HIM COS UVE LOST ENOUGH!!!. ITS NOT EASY BUT PLEASE MOVE ON. IF U DO WANT TO PUT UP A FIGHT THEN DO IT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS.

  4. Nawao…like u said is ur house…sell the damn house n use d money for may b a small business..u neva can tell d outcome..or sue him to court..d bastard must pay..and pray dat he never finds peace…am so sorry dis hapnd to…just b strong n stay focused on how to move on ko…God bless u

  5. my dear sis, life is too short to stay in pain. we all need happiness to live a fulfilled life. God is very important in issues like this. talk to God about everything that is happening to u right now and am very sure God will change it for good. but above all,your happiness is very important. claim your house back as soon as possible first. all will be fine in Jesus name. I will start talking to God on your behalf. you are bless.

  6. I’m sorry to start on this note but what you did was very stupid. I’m referring to moving out of a house you own. His family were backing him up, so???? So fuck what? When you’ve allowed yourself to be turned punching bag and sex machine and staying in the name of love as so many African women love to do, you’ve now turned yourself to accommodation provider. If they need a car you will give them yours too abi? Aunty go and take your house back, and I will advice you take time to heal. Forget this man, he may not be your destined husband after all. This may sound painful but your children may have been stillborn because you are not destined to have any ties in life with this man. Pick yourself up and get settled, you may still find proper genuine healthy love later in life. If before your Heavenly Father you have not sinned then trust he will work things out for you. This man has shown you his true color and nobody deserves to suffer like you have.

  7. my dear sis, life is too short to stay in pain. we all need happiness to live a fulfilled life. God is very important in issues like this. talk to God about everything that is happening to u right now and am very sure God will change it for good. but above all,your happiness is very important. claim your house back as soon as possible first. all will be fine in Jesus name. I will start talking to God on your behalf. you are bless.

  8. Is just quiet unfortunate that u found ur self in this mess but my advice is that divorce n if ur name is written on the property as claimed by u file a case for it then move on with ur life there are better things u can still achieved in life. With God on ur side all u lost bcoz of ur faithfulness in dis marriage will surely comes back. I prayed to God to comfort u better n there is always still a better perfect man that will comes ur way .

  9. Sorry Mi dear if I may ask which name is in d documents of d house? Pls go back home it is ur house. Don’t live blcose of anything u build it so stay in they. Fuck d man go n sweep dem out. God help u

  10. Dear sis. Agreed that u re out of ur matrimonial home, dear if u can decide that he his out of ur life, I think it will be better 4 U. And find means of collecting ur house Bcos that’s where we ladies are doing great mistake by handling what we have to our hubby all for de sake of love. Permit me to say an adage in yoruba’ won Ko fe ni ilu, on Darin, tani yo gbe. Besides is yoruba that says this adage too’ Koro aiye San ju Koro orun lo’. So dear, find means of collect ur property and live him for God. Bsids any other opportunity, do Nt be blind with the word LOVE.

  11. My dear;ur story is touching & this will teach many ladies a great lesson that marriage is to enjoy & not to endure. I’m so sorry to judge u but do u know that if not God u might b under d grave by now.I don’t know how love & mantreatment has in common? as long as ur hubby raised his hand on u;that very day;ur love has reduced from his mind.Although, their is nothing God can’t do, pls,don’t let anybody rub u of ur blessing, go ahead & collect ur house back first then u can go on ur knee & ask God d way to go. whether to remarried or may b to wait until d spell is over on ur hubby.

  12. Well, I am not surprise and this not the first or second time hearing stories like this, it should be a challenge to most African women, About 95% of African women believe their nature is to give birth and take care of family

  13. This is obviously a fiction. The story is not true. for so many obvious reasons i dont even want to waste my time pointing them out.

  14. My dear sis decision matter in everything we want to do in live. Pls go back to that house and collect all ur properties that belong to u back from that animal u call ur husband. As u can see u may think this guy is ur husband while u were not compatible, think about this u have pregnant for him, through him u lost the pregnant, that means he’s not ur husband. There’s nothing call rest of mind in ur own house WHY? My sister claim ur property back and move on with life. Yoruba people say Ti eshin badani n se lama n tun gun. Pls don’t go back to that animal again he’s not ur husband #think about it#

  15. My dear sis decision matter in everything we want to do in live. Pls go back to that house and collect all ur properties that belong to u back from that animal u call ur husband. As u can see u may think this guy is ur husband while u were not compatible, think about this u have pregnant for him, through him u lost the pregnant, that means he’s not ur husband. There’s nothing call rest of mind in ur own house WHY? My sister claim ur property back and move on with life. Yoruba people say Ti eshin badani n se lama n tun gun. Pls don’t go back to that animal again he’s not ur husband #think about it#

  16. My dear siater am so sorry 4 all wat u’ve gone tru bt mi advise 2 u is, firstly if de property belong 2u nd is bought in ur name as u said, get de document nd other valuable documents dat might be in dat house or better still if dey re wiff u den sue him 2 court nd file 4 dicorce, den trow dat beast nd de she goat out of de house nd start up wiff ur life nd always make sure u tinkless nd pray more. GOD is listeming nd seeing all wat u going tru nd he’s a supreme being he’s preparing a better dayz ahead of u ok ? mi sister plz dnt sell ur property no matter hw fraustrating u might be ok ? dnt worry de joy of de lord shall be ur strength, nd 4rm 2day u shall knw no sorrow again in life. dnt worry we shall all be putn u in prayer, stay bless.

  17. Hello dear, it’s quite so unfortunate you paid the price for love, everything good comes with its risk, if you win then it’s joy but if you lose then you get wiser… Am happy you have done well for yourself and it will be unfair and wrong to sell your property because of them(hubby and concubine) ‘get the appropriate documents to the house and then head for court judgement, file for divorce and start a life, you are just 31years old, pretty and fresh to attract a more better suitor but at least now you have learnt, God’s gonna see you through In Jesus Name.

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