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Please Advice Me, I Am So Lost Where Do I Go From Here?

Please Advice Me, I Am So Lost Where Do I Go From Here?


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Hello NgTrends,

I am 23years old and i am confused, i dont understand what I feel anymore,i dont know if its love or lust. I was dating a guy called Bob, he was so sweet when we met he does every sweet thing you can think of, he even goes out of his way to show he really loves me but ever since he disvirgined me everything about him changed, he just went from the sweet Bob I know to the sorrow and problem in my life, he got me distracted I couldn’t think straight at all again all he does is call me when he wanna have s*x, aside that I keep chasing him with calls. The most hurtful occurrence was this faithful day I turned him down, he was so mad at me that my so called lover didn’t sleep in the room with me he slept in the sitting room,he kept on with the attitude the previous morning he didn’t even answer when I greeted him that morning, he made me invisible and so useless this day, I had to leave his house because I wasn’t comfortable and he seem unbothered, his best friend walked me down I was so pained that all I could do was cry. The best friend kept checking on me Bob didn’t bother to even message me not to talk less of calling. Bob left the country without calling or telling me, his friend told me. I kept talking to his friend, we became so close to cut the long story short I had sex with Bob’s best friend and I feel bad about it. Now Bob is back he keeps calling but his best friend said he is in love with me that I should give him a chance to treat me right. I still love Bob, Bob’s friend is very loving and caring and I think I really like him. I am so confused on what to do. Please advice me and kindly go easy on your comment, I was hurting I didnt mean to sex my boyfriend’s best friend I just needed something or someone to make me feel loved. 
Thank you.



  1. So sorry abt d whole situation. To me I don’t think bob loves u, u’r just his sex instrument. He’ll do that to u again and again unless God changes him. What u’r feeling for him is obsession, coz rejection breeds obsession. The other guy, his friend, I think what u have for that one is love, u’r not just seeing it yet or that way. Probably because both guys are friends and what connects u three in terms of relationship is bad. From me, I’ll advice u to look for love else where and leave the two guys alone. It might even be a planned relationship. But if u feel u really like his friend which I think is love, u can go ahead with him but not with bob anymore.

  2. I understand how you feel, the deed has been done and u need to move on. I really think you should break your reltionship with Bob cos he obviously doesn’t deserve love.

    About the friend, I think you guys should make him work on having a relationship with you, I mean stress him a bit, if he truely loves you as he says then he would fight to be with you, because men are really funny, I won’t be surprised if Bob is already aware you Guys made out.

    God help you dear

  3. Hmm bae in dis case u av to be very careful. Don’t be freak by any emotional flexibility atall, dis wat u should think first, note dat wen u n bob met he pretended as if he loves u for real b4 he later changed to sad bob. Rember dis guys r friends o, A proverb says show me ur friend den I will tell u exactly who u r. As for Bob erase him totally frm ur mind his a no no, don’t be surprised dat his aware u guys r seeing each other dats y he wanted u bk. Dis tim is going to be worst dan de first tim beware. If i were u i will just forget about both friends n look for another guy mind u if u don’t drop wat u r holding u won’t no u av somtin better to pick up. Ur self stop sleeping over in a guy’s oues, de guy u r not yet married to. It will dishonour u a lot tak it or u leave it dats de truth. God help u.

  4. my dear.life is funny it not your fault Jesus try and forget these two guys for now cox bob friend might hurt like bob did.

  5. U still love Bob because he is the one that took ur pride away from u, but my advice is stay away from both friends. If u want to love find someone elsewhere before u will be their sex slave.

  6. Hum! Dear,so painful! my advice for u is to opt out of relationship, both bob and his friend re birds of a feather flock 2gther.there is no way they wil not tell each other oooo take it or live and if they do you become their talk of the town. May God give u wisdom to handle d issue.


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