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Torn Between Two Lovers? Here Is How To Choose…

Torn Between Two Lovers? Here Is How To Choose…

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cheating lady

A lot of people say you cannot love two people at the same time. This is completely false. You can love two people, but the kinds of love could be different. Humans are very complex beings and it is very easy to have two people in your life who fulfill different, yet equally important needs for you. But choosing one to spend the rest of your life with can get very complicated. No matter how you cut it, one person is more right for you than the other. Trying to figure this out is where the problem lies. Here are a few tips to help you make a decision…

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cheating lady

1. Do you even have to choose yet?

Not that he needs to put a ring on it, but if you’re not exclusive with either of them, go ahead and keep dating them both. Playa’s gotta play.

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cheating lady

2. Spend time with them

Have you ever seen the TV show, The Bachelor? For him to make an informed decision of who to pick as a partner, he needs to spend quality alone time with each woman competing for his attention. This is important when making a choice. Dedicate some time to each of your love interests, a day, if possible. Make the day all about them- no distractions. Learn all you can about their life, hopes, dreams etc. You will be surprised at how much you can learn about a person when you dedicate ample time to do so. Doing this will help you picture what it will be like to be with them, while also learning more about them.

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cheating lady

3. What do I desire most — in a partner, but also in life?

A typical approach to choosing between two lovers would be to start a list: “He is…” or “She is…” Resist that. Instead, begin with the words, “I want….” Sure, many of the items will describe desirable attributes you hope for in a partner, but by shifting the focus, you’ll avoid defining the choice only in terms of someone else. You’ll remember that you want far more from life than any one person can ever deliver — adventures, achievements, meaning, and belonging. Then consider who is most likely to give you a boost and cheer you on.

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cheating lady

4. Step away

After getting to know them, it’s time you stepped away for a bit. This means cutting all communication with them both. If you get the chance to truly miss them, you might end up realizing that you miss one more than the other or there is this particular one you cannot wait to share your day with. That one is the one you have formed the closest bond with. Having strong bond is important when choosing a life partner.

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cheating lady

5. “Where do I hope to wind up in 10, 20, 30 years?”

The future is impossible to predict, and any number of unforeseen events can rewrite your best-laid plans. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t project yourself into the coming decades of your life and dream of where you’d like the road to lead. You will create a common dream with whomever you choose, so be sure he or she is willing to make room for your unique vision. Life never comes with a guarantee. No choice will be perfect. But when you must pick between lovers, YOU are the best measuring stick you’ll ever get.

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cheating lady

6. Make a list

Making a list could a long way to make some things clearer. Make a list of what you want in a partner, in order of importance. Then make a list of the positive attributes each of your lovers have, and also the negative things. Compare these lists for a clearer picture of which partner will provide you with more of what you really need.

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cheating lady

7. Seek advice

Sometimes, seeing things objectively could help you make an informed decision. Seek the advice of those around you. Make sure you ask someone who can be objective, and not someone who might have something to gain or lose if you choose one or the other. Also, make sure you consider their advice as a suggestion. Do not automatically do what they say. Listen to their opinions and their reasons and add it to the mix of other thing you are considering.

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8. Listen to your heart

There is a reason why people assume you cannot love more than one person, it is because, if you listen with your heart, you will realize who you really want. You can have your reasons for loving the other person too. But when your heart wants someone, it defies all reasons. If neither of these two lovers make you feel this, then perhaps neither of them is for you. It is time to say goodbye to both and find who makes your heart sing.

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cheating lady

9. Making a choice

If you do, in fact, figure out who your hearts wants among the two, then it is time to stand by your choice and let the other person go. Do not keep stringing them along because you are afraid to let them go. Do the honorable thing and tell the other person the relationship cannot continue. Note: After making your choice, there will be times you will question it. This is normal because no matter what, you have let someone go who gave you something your current partner cannot. But it is important that you remind yourself about the great attributes of the one you chose and enjoy your relationship.

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