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Please Advise Me, He Wants To Be With Me But He Is Scared

Please Advise Me, He Wants To Be With Me But He Is Scared



From a Female NGTrends reader. Remember you can share your stories with us for advice from fellow NGTrends readers. To Share Your Story send us a mail today to [email protected] We will try our possible best to respond to all your mails, so keep them coming. Thanks

Hi NGTrends Readers,
I’m a 29 year old successful mother of two children. I have an 11 year old son and a 6 year old daughter. My best friend “Jessica” is 36 years old and married to a wonderful man named David who is 30 years old. They have 1 child together, but in total she has 6 kids by 5 different men. Jessica and I met 8 years ago. Our friendship started off strong and we bonded very quickly.

I hated going to the clubs with her because she partied a lot harder than me and it would be a struggle to get her out of the club. Right when we were becoming friends is when I met my ex-husband and father of my 6 year old daughter. Jessica constantly had a revolving door of men and hated that I had settled down.

Once my ex-husband and I got married and had our daughter that’s when our friendship shifted. She got mad that I wasn’t partying with her and that I was always with my ex-husband. I told her my man and family comes first and she’ll just have to take a backseat and she didn’t understand that. I moved to the east few months later because my husband is usually not at home, he is a military man. I noticed that immediately after I left her texts and calls started to become very infrequent.

Then, after that I started hearing several rumors that she was sleeping with my ex-fiancé. My ex-fiancé, I’ll call “Mike,” is the father of my son. At this time I was just gone for 5 months. I didn’t believe it at first because she knew all the crap I went through with him. I ended up calling her and confronting her about what I had heard. She pretty much knew why I was calling and started the conversation off saying, “Please don’t be mad, I have a confession.” Not only did she admit to being with my ex-fiancé, she told me that she was pregnant.

Damn! I left for 5 months and this all happened. I immediately was upset because Mike was my first everything. Mike and I broke up because I was tired of waiting on him to change. I felt betrayed by both of them, especially her, and now our children are siblings. After my immediate shock wore off she told me I shouldn’t be mad because I’m with my husband and we have a family. I didn’t understand how she could justify to sleeping with my ex-fiancé and having a child. I immediately cut her off after that.

Four years go by and we ended up reconciling at a party over some drinks. My friends and family immediately opposed, but since I was newly single (my ex-husband and I decided to get a divorce because after years of fighting we decided to be amazing co-parents instead of fighting parents). I went against my better judgment and decided to befriend her. She told me how her and Mike broke up (I already knew that) because he was constantly beating her and that they couldn’t seem to stay faithful to each other (she’s not the monogamous type). I highly doubt that he hit her, but whatever! We started having fun again. She also was engaged, but that didn’t stop her from being up to her old tricks of sleeping with different men every night.

Even though we had a past Jessica was somewhat there for me throughout the divorce, but her selfish ways was still there. I mean the same day I told her the divorce was final is when she announced/interrupted my divorce party to tell everyone what day she was getting married. I admit I was a little mad and jealous! Even after they got married she was still constantly cheating on David. I just didn’t understand her. David ending up losing his job 4 months ago and they were on the brink of being homeless. Jessica begged and pleaded with me to let them live with me for a few months in my tiny 3 bedroom house, which has a huge basement. I eventually agreed, but 11 people crammed up in a little house was so stressful.

Immediately after they moved in she was constantly gone and cheating on David. It was literally David and I in the house all day and night with the children like a family. One time, she was even gone for 2 weeks. I asked David how could he allow this and he would just shrug it off. We eventually started falling for each other, and then we started sleeping with each other. I know it’s wrong, but I don’t care. I love this man. He’s my soul mate. She doesn’t deserve a man like him and she doesn’t love him. She said she just uses him for money and now that he has none, to her he’s worthless.

He wants to be with me, but he’s scared to tell her. I want to tell her, but I don’t know how. Should I just put all her stuff out and tell her to pack up and leave with her kids? Or, should I wait until she has a stable place to live then kick her out? I want to be with David and vice versa. I just don’t know how to go about it and honestly I want all the extra bodies out of my house and start my life with my man. He doesn’t even sleep with her when she’s home, and when she’s not home he’s in my bed. He tells me every day he loves me and he stopped wearing his wedding ring. He even introduced me to his family as his girlfriend. What should I do?




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