Home Adult Talks Signs That Tell You Are In Lust Not In Love
Signs That Tell You Are In Lust Not In Love

Signs That Tell You Are In Lust Not In Love

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Love or lust? Lust or love? How do you know which one you might be in? Certainly, they ignite fire within you and you cannot breathe for the passion that keeps you up at night, but is that what it is? Passion? Love? Or instead, just one of the baser emotions? Could it possibly be lust?

Here are signs that what you share is lust, and not love…

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1. When you’re in lust, you look past their foolishness.

Things are so hot & heavy, it’s easy to look past minor “annoyances” (that laugh, that money problem, that MOTHER) that may turn into larger issues down the road.

When you’re in love, you point out their mistakes. You love them, which is why you want them to be a better person. And if they love you, they’ll accept the (constructive) criticism and try to be a better person not just for you but for themselves, too.

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2. You experience intense neediness

If I didn’t get the attention I needed from C on a daily basis, I felt like my world was falling apart. Was he texting with someone else instead? Was he not home, as he said, but out with someone else? Having s8x with someone else? Why isn’t he answering my calls? It was exhausting, to say the least.

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3. A dearth of meaningful conversations

When you’re in love, and I mean well and truly in love, you are comfortable with your partner and all that they are. Which means you are also comfortable talking about most things with them. Your partner is your friend, unlike lust, in which case friendship and the meaningful conversations that come with it are lacking. Conversations making up your problems, your hopes, your dreams, and your life in general are missing from your interactions.

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4. There’s more fire and less stability

Love — real love — is about commitment and communication. These two important components lead to stability within a relationship. Of course, fire can be part of the equation, but when there’s lots of drama, chaos and more emotional gut blows than butterflies, you’re looking at a lustful situation.

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5. You’re dressed to impress

You are always looking your best with them. You eyebrows are waxed, you are invariably dressed to advantage, and your Brazilian is immaculate. Whether you’re a man or a woman, the point is that you take particular care in your appearance each time you meet them. In a relationship that is based on more than just the superficial, you and your partner wouldn’t care if your hair wasn’t perfect some day because your relationship is much more than all that lies outside.

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6. The feeling is conditional

Anyone who’s been in love can attest to the fact that love is unconditional. Lust, however, is not. Lust is steeped in gratification without concern to anything else. I could easily sleep with someone other than C and not feel a twinge of regret, but if I were to do the same to the man I love, I’d never forgive myself. Lust has blurred boundaries as to what’s right; love kicks those blurred lines into place.

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7. When you’re in lust, you say what they want to hear.

You constantly aim to please. When they ask you a question, you’re more apt to reply with a “safe” answer, even though it might not fully express how you feel. (You figure you’ll get to that later, right?)

When you’re in love, you keep it real. You don’t agree with everything they’re saying and you clearly state that. Having different views and opinions from your significant other doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not a good match; it just means that SHOCKER: You’re different people. And that’s okay. Healthy debate is good and normal and helpful at seeing things from another perspective.

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