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The Negative Outcome Of Jumping Through Hoops

The Negative Outcome Of Jumping Through Hoops

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The basic thing is jumping through hoops often has a negative outcome, he sees it as an opportunity to have his cake and eat it too. But when you stay outside his reach, he’ll stay on his best behavior.

Let’s look at how one relationship unfolded when the woman was willing to jump through hoops. It’s a classic scenario. Sarah bought an airplane ticket to go see a man she’d met only once before when he had been in town for a holiday weekend. They’d kept in touch for a month via e-mail and over the phone. Convinced he was “the one”, Sarah decided she’d like to see him again.

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The ticket cost more than 30thousand. He agreed to pay for the accommodations, which ended up being 8thousand for the hotel. After Sarah arrived, they had s8x in the hotel. Then he took her to a coffee shop with coupons that were complimentary with the room. Afterward they had s8x again.

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A Kodak moment, isn’t? No foreplay. No candle. No soft music. No showering together. Instead, one eye is on the game, and he’s listening for score. The count is three to two… and the bases are loaded. streeeeeke! Any man- even one who was raised in a jail- has sense enough to know that watching a game while having s8x is rude. Hardly a romantic, they couldn’t wait to getaway from each other.

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Now let’s do a financial comparison. He got plenty of food, plenty of s8x, and he got to watch the game. Her bill exceeded 20thousand. She did, however, get two extra packets of peanuts on the airplane, each containing 2.5peanuts, for a total of five peanuts. Even if she divided them up into peanuts halves, she still wouldn’t come out ahead.

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A confident woman would never have put herself in this position. She would have required that he come to see her and she does so because she has a fantasy that he will complete her. To keep spark from fizzling, it’s sometimes best to stay ever-so-slightly just outside man’s reach, because it charges up his batteries.

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The nice girl fails to takes a breather because of her fantasy that he is the one or her soul mate. But this fantasy is liability because it feeds a myopic view he is the center id her life.
Another reason women rush into relationship is fear.

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A woman said she can not say NO to her boyfriend! Bullcrap! Well I asked her why she can not say NO to her boyfriend, why she can’t say no honey not tonight.I really need some down time. She said answered, “Because then he pouts. I guess deep down I’m afraid he’ll get another girl”.

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The confident woman is not governed by the fear of losing a man, because she knows the real price to pay is when she loses herself. Almost immediately, women give themselves up in small ways. The cumulative effect of these subtle concessions, however, is what amounts to feeling depleted.

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The best solution to the sh8t is LOSE THE FANTASY. And if you feel you are going to resent something after you give it, do not give it at all. This will enable you to stay firmly planted with both feet on the ground.

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