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Hi NGTrends Readers,
I’ve been with this girl for just over three months, With one week in January where we were on/off. When she got with me in December, she had recently broken up with her boyfriend (Of 3 years), and I was a factor in that, together with the fact her boyfriend had moved away for Uni. Anyway, after about 3/4 weeks she told me she needed some time to think what she wanted, because she still had feelings for him (She realised this after meeting up with him for a few hours). I didn’t think we’d get back together, but we still saw eachother. About a week or so later, she decided she wanted to be with me, we got back together. After that things were going very well, We were very close and really happy together, and we still are.
However, during this time, she’s said some things that concern me. Including
– She claims she needs her ex in her life, and they’ll always be close
– When her ex found out about our relationship, he was distraught. My gf told me she was having some doubts with being with me at that point
– She told me very recently that me and her ex are of relatively equal importance to her…She texts him all the time, and yesterday she saw him again as he’s back from uni for three weeks. I wasn’t comfortable with that given the last time they met she realised she had feelings for him (3 months ago). Afterwards, she could tell I wasn’t happy with it after she said she was going out for a drink with him some time soon
She told me there was no feelings for him yesterday, and they’re just friends. But she thinks she wont see him now, because she can see it makes me unhappy and doesn’t want to feel guilty. Instead I feel guilty for preventing her from doing what she wants. She was in tears because she doesn’t know how to make me happy, she wants her ex in her life desperately, and she knows I don’t like that given he’s the reason we broke up originally.She still tells me she never wants to lose me, loves me etc etc.
Long Story short:
– She still texts her ex all the time, and will see him a lot probably whenever he’s home.
– She’s said concerning things, like she doesn’t know who’s more important to her between me and him, and she ‘needs’ him in her life
– She’s upset because she doesn’t want to hurt me, but wants to see him too. She was implying there’s no point in being together if neither of us can be happy, but she really wants to be together.
So, Are my concerns fair? What’s the best thing for me to say/do?
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