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Hi NGTrends Readers,
So a little bit of backstory, I met this friend a couple years ago and we became really good friends. Initially it was over our shared love of movies and that we lived pretty close together in an area with almost no other kids our age. We started spending a lot of time together, like at least a few hours every day. We developed a really close friendship, to a degree where I really feel like I can trust her with anything or tell her anything without much inhibition.
Lately though I’ve been falling for her hard. I suppose I would say about a few months ago it started. We started hanging out a bit less frequently. I’m not the jealous type, at all, but I found myself thinking about her almost all the time, and wishing I could be spending more time with her. We started spending a lot more time together again lately and I just can’t ignore how I feel anymore. I’m seriously attracted to her, both because she’s incredibly physically attractive, but also because she’s one of the most genuine people I’ve met, and because we relate on so many things; she’s seemingly one of the only people who can truly understand me to the degree she does.
The issue for me though, is that I have no intention on acting on these romantic feelings. I really enjoy having her as a friend the way we are now, but the thing is, I just struggle so much with bottling these feelings. I’m normally an incredibly awkward person, and I’m starting to become more and more awkward with her as these feelings become more prevalent. A few years back one of my best friends was female and when she admitted her feelings to me it absolutely destroyed our friendship, and I’m so terrified of having that happen again, but right now I’m being sabotaged by my own romantic insecurities to the degree where it’s harming our friendship. I want to come clean so I don’t have to feel that stress, but I’m so terrified it’s going to ruin the relationship like before.