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Hi NGTrends Readers,
Where to begin? We had a short engagement. Shortly after we got married, she started putting her phone on silent, where it was always on sound before. She would stay up late and when I’d get up, she would minimize her windows or change tabs. Shortly after we got married, she became friends with an ex on Facebook. I had an issue with this since shortly after we got engaged, he tried to talk her out of marrying me. It started a huge fight, but she removed him from her friends list after we argued about it.
Fast forward a year later, she was not sleeping with me, and was going through a depression period. I didn’t communicate with her very well and try to help her out of it. So she was talking to other guys. I felt I needed to look through her computer because something felt off. I found multiple messages to other guys. One was to the ex I mentioned previously. Who just a month ago, she had told me that she wouldn’t talk to him because she knew it would hurt me. One was to another ex who was abusive and he told him that he was the love of her life. Another was to a guy that she had a relationship with but it was all long distance. One was to a guy that she used to get on cam for. Which I didn’t find out the depths of this until last month. She told me she sent him a couple of topless pictures. His conversations with her very s8xual. One time they were talking and she stopped to come have s8x with me. Then went back to talk to him. The whole thing blew up and we went to marriage counseling. Things got better for awhile.
We hit another rough patch and I found out that she was talking to another guy. I threatened to leave her, but decided against it. We kept working through our relationship. In the beginning of last year she sent two messages to the guy from the long distance relationship. She tried calling him multiple times through skype. The messages were about how she loved him and that she wanted to be his pet again. Which was his affectionate term for her. I didn’t find out about this until he sent her a friend request this year. I had to go through her computer to find this out. I asked her when he sent her the friend request if their was anything I needed to know. She said that she hadn’t contacted him for a very long time.
While I was digging around I found old chats with all of these guys. The major issues are that the guy that she was having the s8xual conversations with she used to get on cam with him over skype. Right after we got engaged she watched him masturbate on cam. I had just asked her about him and she still went with the I only sent him a few pictures. She says that she doesn’t remember watching him masturbate after we got engaged.
The long distance guy, she claims that the “I love you” was meant to be friend love you. I don’t believe that for a second. I think she meant that she was still in love with him.
The one ex that was trying to talk her out of marrying me, she misled me on him too. She had told me that they were going to move in together, but she found out that he had girlfriend. Well he did have a girlfriend and she knew it. She didn’t care. She was ending him s8xual messages while he was with another woman. She claims that she never did this while we were together.
So we’re going to counseling. I don’t know what to do. I’m so done with it right now. I just don’t want to hurt anymore. I’m afraid that this will happen again or that I’ll never get over this. The thing that is really upsetting is that I’ve never felt more love for a woman like I do for her. I love being around her. We have so much fun and she gets me. She doesn’t judge me. But I’m so hurt with all of this though.
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